So you’re alone on Valentine’s Day scrolling through your Facebook news feed gouging your eyes out at how cheesy (fondue anyone?) everyone is being? Join the club.
Maybe you’ve been single for awhile. Or maybe you just recently broken up with someone. Or perhaps you’re committed and wanted to poke around to see what other people who aren’t as luck as you are doing. To the former folks, I say, “Cupid bless you!” To the latter, I say, “Go fudge yourself!” I hope you regret all those calories when you wake up tomorrow!
I’m doing fine, thank you very much! I have a glass of cabernet sauvignon from Stave & Steel aged in bourbon barrels. Two of my favorite things to sip: wine and bourbon. Combined together in a synergy of bold and spicy with a moody complexity and depth to round it out.
And, indeed, I’m actually quite okay spending Valentine’s alone. Maybe I’m jaded. Disillusioned. Or maybe… just maybe… I’m heartbroken and I’m just trying to cover it up? Naw, just kidding! My past year might not have been full of love (at least the committed kind) but it has seen its share of lovers. A handful of lovers whom I call friends, oddly enough. I chat with them every now and then. Send them a text or a funny meme. Post a “Happy Birthday” status on their Facebook profile when the time comes. You know. Check in on them once-in-a-while because, you know, I’m not an a**hole.
But right now I’m savoring my time alone. Because despite the traumas of heartbreak that I’ve experienced over the years trying to “find THE ONE”, I’ve settled into a comfortable space in between ravenously trying to hunt true love and being a dumbass player. That space is very important to me at this point in time.
I’m not chasing anyone. I’m not fumbling and falling over myself wondering what to say or do. My heart isn’t beating like a million tons of dopamine was dumped into my system (love is, in fact, a drug).
I’m comfortable being in the space of just being here, alone, with my thoughts and this lovely, deep glass of red wine. There’s no pity. There are no regrets. Just me being me and loving it.
So some of you get that but you may need some help deciding what to do. So here’s some help:
1. Fill the glass of wine ALL THE WAY.
Just like Thanksgiving or Christmas where you’re allowed to binge eat like you’ve been starving in a cell, if you’re single and alone on Valentine’s, I give you permission to fill that glass of wine all the way to the tippy top. This night is for you, no matter what they say.
2. Be a troll. Just this once.
All those cute couple and cute date photos on your news feed? They’re ripe for trolling. Face it… anything anyone posts on Facebook is what most people want the outside world to PERCEIVE as being 100% of their life 100% of the time. Shake the world up with a reality check. God knows we all need it from time to time.
3. Read something that makes you a better you.
Or read something that evokes all of the emotions you’re trying to hide from tonight. Like Jame Varon’s This is how we Date piece. While she does bring up some good points about dating in the digital age, her piece does give some starting points on how we might improve. Aside from that, pick up a good-old fashioned book perhaps and let your imagination run wild and free.
4. Find a funny show on Netflix.
Laughter is good. And I find a good way to laugh is to find something funny on Netflix. Right now, I’m watching The Office and have just made it to the part where Andy (played by Ed Helmes) enters the series and does battle with Dwight Schrute. Also, I’m realizing in this day and age of sexual violence coming to light that Jim Halpert is a gentleman who doesn’t take advantage of his female coworker.
Another suggestion I have is Mr. Nobody, if you want a good film that will literally bend your mind. Otherwise, stick to comedies.
5. Pour another glass of wine.
Go ahead. Treat yourself. You are alone for God’s sake. It’s not like there’s anyone to judge you.
Granted, this is all a bit funny. But really my point is that before you can truly love anyone else, you have to learn to love yourself. Not in the a**hole kind of way. But in the manner where you realize that you don’t need someone to know your self-worth. You’re amazing. You have talents. You have goals and other wants and needs. So screw what all the other jaded and brainwashed people think when they say “Oh, don’t be selfish!”
Do you! Be you! Take care of you!
Doing so leaves the door open… for when true love comes around.